Learning to let go... a little...

Cullen started daycare this week, and my, has it been a roller coaster! The first day was terrible: mom crying, Cullen crying. He cried almost the entire day--from 8:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. I had planned to pick him up earlier, but my errands took longer than I expected. Boy did I feel mommy guilt when I picked him up and saw how exhausted he was! He was totally spaced out. He slept through the night that night for the first time (but unfortunately hasn't since then!).

But every day it has gotten gradually better. On Wednesday when I picked him up, he smiled at his teacher, which made me feel so much better. Then today the bad news! His teacher is leaving! Her father is sick, so she is moving to San Antonio. So today he is starting with his new teacher. I am anxious to see how it goes!

This learning to let go thing is very hard for me! I went from having a hard time letting people hold or feed Cullen to leaving him at day care for almost the entire day in just one week! I have so many mixed feelings about it. In some ways I think it will be better for him being exposed to other people, and I know he is in a truly loving and nurturing environment. And I must admit I am looking forward to going back to work. I love my work and my co-workers, and I miss it. But I know I will miss him (I miss him right now!). I am just hoping I can be a great lawyer and mom! I feel so grateful to be at this point in my life, having achieved the biggest goals I had for myself. And now for the next chapter...